It has been a while since I've posted to this blog - I had to take a breather from life in general to reflect after my Cousin passed away.  Losing my cousin made me question my faith in God; after all, how would a just and loving God see fit to take my Cousin away from not only us, but more specifically his wife and two daughters.  I came to the conclusion that God bestowed upon us the ultimate gift; that of freedom of choice and an undetermined outcome.  As I have recently found out, this gift can sometimes be a double edged sword.

The Masonic Ceremony at Jeffrey's funeral was beautiful; heart wrenching, but beautiful.  To watch these Men, some of whom may have never even met my Cousin, choke back their tears moved me to the core and steeled my resolve to become one.  After the ceremony, one of my cousin's Brethren (and his instructor through his degrees) came up to me and told me he had heard I was becoming a Mason.  I told him I had just been approved the week before at which point he promised to come visit me at Union Lodge during my degrees because he knew how much Jeff had wanted to be there.  I couldn't find the words to thank this man for putting time aside from his busy life to attend my degrees in an effort to both honor the memory of his Brother and to provide support for one of his future Brothers.

Knowing that my Cousin and I did a lot together and were very close, a bunch of my family members have since asked me if I was still intending on becoming a Mason.  I simply tell them that my resolve has only deepened since his death for he once told me, "Cuz - this is gonna be the best thing you ever do" when I asked him for a petition.  I would be nothing more than a fool if I backed out now...

Besides - I know in my heart of hearts that my Cousin will still be there, right by my side, when I go for my degrees... He'll be there.