During my interview with the investigations committee, they asked me a question that I wasn't able to fully answer without giving it much more serious thought.  They asked me, quite simply (to them!), what I expected from Freemasonry.  I told them that I was, like many other people, looking for answers to the unanswered questions in my head; that numerous events in my life had lead me to question my faith.  I also told them that I had no interest in dealing with people that were only out for themselves and that the tenants of Masonry provided an environment in which those types of people couldn't hack it.  But, after much thought and contemplation (and a post on Masonic Minute) , I've come to the realization that my expectations for Masonry run much deeper than that. 

I don't want it easy...
I am becoming increasingly frustrated with the tendency of today's society to demand immediate gratification.  I do not want to waltz in to my Lodge and be risen to the Sublime Degree of Master Mason in a matter of weeks; that is the antithesis of 'sublime' to me.  To be completely honest, I was absolutely shocked to find out that Masonry had apparently, at least for a period of time, become more worried about the number of people wearing an apron rather than the quality of those wearing an apron. 

I asked myself how an organization that has been around for hundreds of years - and which has its roots in antiquity - would see fit to hold one day classes, churning out McMasons to seemingly bolster their membership numbers.  After reading so much about the traditions and teachings of Masonry, many of which are delivered through the degree rituals themselves, I was disheartened to think that the Craft might have been moving away from that which distinguished itself.  The esoteric traditions of Masonry is precisely what's different about it when compared to other fraternal organizations such as the Rotary and the Elks - and it's that very difference which I think made it so successful.  Now, this isn't to say that some good Masons didn't come out of those one day events - I'm sure they have produced quite a few upstanding brothers - but I am of the belief that those types would have preferred to go through the normal degree process, if not then, then now... at least I do.

Lately,  however,  it seems the desire for change is becoming more and more palpable by the day.  I have read about Grand Lodges discontinuing one day classes and Blue Lodges prohibiting their new blood from attending them; I have seen more and more posts in the blogosphere calling for a return to esotericism; I have heard Brothers declare that it is not enough anymore to just know the rituals - instead, one should be taught their meanings and made to understand them.  I have heard all these things and I'm not even a Mason yet!  Although I have been told in the past that one only gets out of Masonry what they put in, I am excited to see an atmosphere redeveloping where one is encouraged to give it their all instead of just showing up to put a warm body in a chair.  I am of the belief that this commitment to excellence will prove popular because...

I want to belong to something...
And I'm sure others feel the same way too!  I don't mean in the "I got a blue card in my wallet!" sense, either.  I'm talking about belonging on a level deep enough that it gives importance to carrying that blue card around.  I love the rich history and traditions of Masonry that I've read about thus far and the only way, in my humble opinion, to integrate yourself with such a storied organization is to pay your dues (not only financially, but, esoterically).  It's just like when I joined my volunteer fire department years ago;  I was a member once they approved me but even graduating from the fire academy wasn't enough to make me a brother.  No... I would never become a true firefighter until my first structure fire.  I realize now that by joining and committing myself to training, I was only molding the chains of brotherhood; this resulting chain was soft, however, because it had yet to be hardened by the fire and tempered by the hose line.  I think Masonry is similar in some aspects: You can join and you can learn the ritual but you will never be a true Mason without first finding yourself in a situation where your knowledge is tested.

On a more abstract level, I also want to belong to an organization that holds the very same ideals as it did when it counted Paul Revere, George Washington and Benjamin Franklin among its rolls.  I look to Masonry as a way to be connected through the centuries... as a way to know someone that I have never met and as a way to pay homage to their legacy.  It's hard to describe, but in this hectic day and age, there is something strangely comforting in knowing that Masonry comes from a simpler time when there was only what's right, what's wrong and a clear delineation between the former and latter.  A colonial blacksmith, concerned with only his trade, family, country and the preservation of freedom became a mason to further those ideals - and so shall I. 

I expect to learn...
Both about life and about myself.  I have many questions that I have not been able to find an answer for yet, some of which keep me up late at night as they race through my mind.  While I don't expect Masonry will explicitly answer these for me, I do hope it points me in the right direction.  It can't do that, however, if the fork and knife degree is anything more than a prelude to serious discussion and lectures.

I expect to become a better person...
Because I'll be the first to admit my faults.  I am rash at times and cynical at others; I can become irrational if someone pushes my buttons.  But, I am also endeavouring to better myself and change my ways through Masonry.  With age comes wisdom and I am hoping to tap into literally hundreds of years of trials and tribulations in the hopes that I can learn something from the efforts of those who came before me.

It's safe to say that I have great expectations for the Craft... and as I sit here tonight, on the verge of embarking upon this journey, I can only hope that Masonry's light still shines brightly for all of mankind is in need of a lighthouse right now.

-Scott